Emotional abuse?
What about it, you say?
Generally it’s my opinion that when a physical abuse accrues in a relationship once, Emotional abuse accrued at least five times more. Let’s define emotional abuse as a term. “Continuous insults, demands and harassment towards a partner with the intent to erode that person's self esteem. It may take place only in private, or it may be done publicly to increase the victim's humiliation. The victim is told, either directly or in various ways, that they cannot manage--their appearance, their sexuality, their finances, their emotions, their entire life. “ Alright…so let’s a approach this from a scientific point of view. We have the abuser, and the victim. Abuser in a way convinces the victim, that it’s worthless, and has no survival capabilities. In a way abuser gets into the victims head, forcing her/him to believe that without him/her (abuser) the victims life, has no meaning. Abusers(especially those that are more intelligent) usually wait to get to know you, to get into your life…to find out your secrets, and with those secrets they attack. Victim comes to a point, that it’s afraid of saying anything, in fear that it will be criticized. Reasons? So…many say that some abusers have “valid” reasons for abuse. What is a valid reason? What for example if you find your husband in bed with your best girlfriend? Is it a good enough reason for you to throw a vase and a couple a punches? Yes? No? In general, people would say that it’s “normal” for you to react in a violent manner. But if you are in a relationship, where you have to repress, and hold down your violent emotions inside, and that accrues on a daily basis. Here’s a tip….. Leave. |
SINGLE TO STAY (DAMNED AND SINGLE)
Ever heard your friend say “I feel like I’m a magnet for complete emotionally handicapped morons”.
There’s another great saying : “People do what they want to do, everything else is an excuse” Stop looking in all the wrong places! Where will one find that special someone? The answer is everywhere! When you go out with your friends….or take a walk around the block. It is possible that he or she will come into your arms falling from a tree, and it will be love at first site. But is it probable? Not really. People tend to spend most of their life in, school, work…etc. You’ll probably meet that special someone in those places. That’s not the Fairy tale that we want to hear, that’s real life. But that isn’t that bad at all. Why? Because if you work, or go to school with someone, you can ask around and find out that some vital information. Am I telling you to be a stalker? Am I saying that gossips and such are to be believed. No. Definitely not. But where’s smoke, there’s fire too….right? If someone has the reputation of being a one night stand, no strings attached type of guy or a girl. Sorry to tell you, but that’s probably true. It doesn’t have to be true, but it’s better to be prepared, and should we say, “armed” with that info. Here are some rules for dating and engaging in any kind of relationships…. - Be honest (If something is bothering you about that persons past, ASK!...ask that person, cannot compromise with love, you have to ask if something is bothering you. If you ignore it, it will only get bigger and bigger of an issue) - No groping. Girls…watch out…if a guy is really serious about you….he will be respectful. If he’s already trying to get into you pants on first couple of dates, and you can see he’s obvious intentions. It will not get any better. As soon as his objective is completed ( getting you in the sack), he’ll be right out the door. If he hasn’t got enough self-control to wait…. What make’s you think that he’ll have enough self control not to cheat on you, when stuck in a elevator with his sexy secretary. - Check his or her background. Just ask around, don’t hire a detective for God’s sake. A fact that he gets into a lot of fights or like’s to gamble or her likes to spend her whole paycheck on shoes, can tell a lot about his or her future behavior. Another thing…. If you hang out with scum long enough, you will begin to at best resemble them. Why? For example, if you have friend that you go out with, and that’s with another man or woman every weekend, and is in fact behaving very promiscuous, that has a bad effect on YOU on two levels. First level : Think about it, if you spend every weekend night watching your best friend going from one man/woman to another, even something leaving you by yourself just because he or her has an itch to scratch. Isn’t that sad? That kind of behavior will affect you…not at first…but in some time…yes it will…and you become to act the same. Why? Because of human nature. We(Humans) tend to adapt, and mimic ones around us. If you see a dead body for the first time, that’s just terrible, but if you see it every weekend, then it becomes normal. Don’t let that kind of behavior become normal. It is not. Be true to yourself. Second level: Reputation of your friend can easily be transferred to you. You know that idiot / slut XY? …Well….that’s her best friend. That kind of reputation can cost you, your love. And the worst thing is….you did absolutely nothing wrong. Well guys…that about it for today…On the next post will continue this topic. If anyone has any comments or remarks please fell free to write. |
LOVE
Before I describe some problem situations, I would like to clear some things up… simply define some basic terms of love. Love. How would one describe love? Kiss, Hug, Peck on the cheek, That special look or perhaps holding hands? Is that love? I personally would describe Love as a uniquely special and wonderful blend of emotions that we feel for that special someone. Then again, that’s just my opinion. I cannot and will not try to define Love, because I truly believe that it’s something divine and unexplainable. There’s one test though….. Who to find out if you are in love with someone? Easy…. If hours seem like months and days like years, when that special one isn’t near, then my friend, you are in love. You may have some problems with him or her but you can’t live with out them. That’s the whole idea. Love is like a river that brings, all those things that you thought were impossible into your mind. Suddenly you can’t imagine your life without that person. That’s my perception of love. So….let’s get to it…. I must emphasize that I’m writing these advices for ones that want to be a part of a serious relationships, and are kind of serious about it. |
Starting off....
My true intention with this blog is to create, a list of advice that a person can
REALLY use in different types of situations that include love. By love I mean romantic love, typical boy meets girl, girl meet boy situations. I'm not gonna be a philosopher about it, just real life advice from a ordinary man, with some extraordinary whit for love situations, and understanding. LET'S GET STARTED!  |
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